Worries of a preteen’s mom….

Yes, I am a worried preteen’s mom. I know my daughter is growing up and very fast indeed(her clothes are just not keeping up!!) and I am just not prepared for it. I want the years to stop rolling by and let my baby stay a little girl for bit longer….

She is still so carefree and so innocent. Though the need of the times demands that I explain to her about the good and the bad touch but it breaks my heart to see the scared expression on her face…

Dealing with the Hannah Montana craze of hers is easier as long as it ends with all her stuff imprinted with the image of teenage pop star but what about the ideas of having a boyfriend at such tender age. I hope she doesn’t get influenced by such ideas….. What if she rebels?

Ah! and now I will have to prepare her mentally for the stressful days every month for the rest of her life… I remember my initial days… I felt lost, scared, punished, hateful, angry, irritated, agitated and dreaded the next month. I remember the sudden restrictions, consciousness and the smirking knowing looks that the teenaged male classmates darted at the girls. Oh! how I despised being a thirteen year old with so many things to deal with…. studies, physical and emotional changes and the unsuccessful attempts to get appreciation in whatever I did!!  Yes, I am worried for her because I do not know whether  I would be able to ease off her pain, anxiety and be her rock… I just wish she wouldn’t suffer.

It’s a bad, bad world out there and even if she does listen to all the “Dos and Don’ts” that I tell her yet there are wolves lurking on every turn… It is so disturbing mentally and emotionally to hear wayward comments mouthed by illiterate, rowdy and perverted men while walking down a street. No, O Lord! please let her not have any bad experience…… I wish I could protect her from all bad things in this world… I wish the world were a better place to let our daughters venture freely into…

Yes, I am a worried mom of a preteen daughter and this is again going to last forever….at least till she is strong enough to deal with her own fears, insecurities and her own worries….

Before and After : Living Room

Waiting for the house with attached garage, I had decided to not decorate the currently allotted house. But it so happens always, that every time we get posted to a new place and move in the new house, my imagination takes wings and I itch to decorate it. I instantly know what needs to be around and what I can do without. Though my dear husband is always sceptical of my instant decisions but he admits that by the time I am through with my decorating brain wave, our house is worth a second glance. I guess this knack of decorating the insides of any house runs in my family. The houses of my parents’ and my sister are subtly graceful and done up very well…. a fact that is a matter of pride for me.

So as always, I could not stop myself more than one month from doing up this house while still waiting for a better house.  I regret not taking photographs of other houses that we occupied earlier in different cities, hence this time I made the effort to capture both before and after decorating my living room.

BEFORE and AFTER:

Now , after all the efforts I might as well stay put in the same house!!

उमड़ घुमड़…

उमड़ घुमड़ कर बादल छाये
संग उनके विचार भी उफनाये
आधे- अधूरे , कच्चे- पक्के
कुछ कचोटते तो कुछ मुस्काते
कुछ आंसू लाते तो कुछ गुदगुदाते
कलम मेरी रुक रुक जाये
क्या लिखूं ऐसा..
जो सभी को भा जाये
सच्चे भाव …….
पर जो न मुझे रुलाए
न किसी और का मन दुखाएं
सभी मेरे अपने हैं
जिनसे दुःख-सुख के
क्षण सभी जुड़े हैं
उनके हाथों में कुछ नहीं…
सारे पल,इश्वर ने गढ़े हैं…
ऐ बादल…..
अपनी बूंदों में बहा
आंसूं सारे ले जा…
कर दे मेरा मन भी हरा…
कर दे मेरा मन भी हरा….

Love is…

What was it with—
The first shy
words,
The first shy embrace,
The first clumsy touch,
The first stolen
kiss,
The first shared dreams.
Down the years
Memories are
there………..
We still kiss
but the inhibition is gone,
We still hug
but the shyness is gone,
We still dream
but the impracticability is
gone……
What was it then
curiosity,lust or love?
I know
not….
But it is Now–
FAITH,COMFORT and LOVE!!!

In search of paradise….

Though I have already published this poem on my blogger blog but now that I am using WordPress, I thought of putting it up here. So read on ….

Every day I wander,

in this maze…

of meaningless fear,

and senseless anger.

of unnerving pain,

and blissful comfort.

of poignant solitude,

and effervescent company.

of hearty laughter ,

and heart-rending tears.

of moral duties,

and wanton desires.

of deep devotion ,

and unshakeable faith.

of unfathomed love,

and complete surrender.

I falter and stumble

and tired I rest,

only to rise

and wander again….

to search paradise!!!

Attack of the Arthropods!!

Walking through the front porch I come across a small millipede about an inch long crawling away without a care in world and oblivious to my foot which might have stepped on it ! I too ignore it and go about my work unperturbed. Back to my living room ,I notice yet another crawly and finding it  unsightly I push it out with my shoe. I forget the episode and day carries on.

Next day it is a bit cool with slight drizzle. I am all set to see my daughter off to school and then I see a dark spot on the pathway ahead. It’s a group of millipedes, some five six in number. I skirt the creepy crawlies and help my daughter board her school bus. I am still not much worried about the plant eaters in my lawn or on the pathway !

Another day breaks open threatening  to be hot, humid and irritable. As usual I embark on the morning chores. Then…. I see a patch of dark brown colour similar to the one on pathway, wriggling, squirming ….a very revolting patch. Disgusted I spray an insecticide and they are dead!

My first act of violence after shifting to this bungalow….. and it doesn’t go unnoticed! The leader has been informed and the creepy crawlies are ready for revenge. The spies have discovered my immense fear of all sorts of insects, bugs, arthropods, arachnids…. you name it!

A planned assault on me, begins with the millipedes crawling in silently through the cracks in the bedroom window frame and the gap under the bathroom door, first in pairs and then in dozens. I too have become aware of their presence in larger quantities and taking advantage of my large size (as compared to them) I begin my fight. I squash them with my foot everywhere….crruunnchh, crruunnchh! The bedroom floor resembles a war site with dead bodies lying all around.

Satisfied with my carnage I bring out the broom and sweep away the carcass. But, I make a mistake of underestimating my enemy. Now they come in scores. They crawl up out of my reach on all the four walls of bedroom and the ceiling. I can not lie down on the bed and while I think of some way to conquer this menace ,a millipede falls on my shoulder from the ceiling . I scream…. they have surrounded me. 

They are crawling in from every crevice, every gap of the house in hundreds! It’s like they show on Star Movies channel …. all bugs and creepies in extra-large size bent upon ruling the mankind, converting humans into some kind of hybrid , half insect and half human.

I arm myself with insect spray, phenyl, broom and big boots and go on killing these hideous creatures which are within my reach. My plight brings my valiant husband on scene armed with a vacuum cleaner. He climbs up on a high stool and sucks these things away. Suddenly the bedroom shines like new again as if nothing happened. I am extremely delighted and have wonderful noon nap and a very good night. Ah! I have won!

“That’s what u feel silly!! wait till tomorrow, ha ha ha…..!!” roars a big millipede. I wake up frightened ……now they were creeping in my dreams too?

But there is not a single one outside or inside the next morning. I relax my guard immediately….. mistake again!!! By evening the whole porch is again full of hoards and hoards of millipedes and all the corners now have some millions of eggs ready to spill out more of these crawlies.

I have given up! I am yet again training myself to share the house with a new set of crawlies. In Pune, it was termites…. the moment I stopped fighting them, they had been discreet and never showed up and ate only the false ceiling in such a way that I could not see them. In Bareilly it was the roaches and the lizards! In fact the lizards understood my fear and helped a lot by eating away all the cockroaches. The only price I had to pay was to see them roaming everywhere, even on the kitchen slab. Sigh!! And now here, till the monsoons stay, these millipedes will make my house their vacation spot. I can only let them enjoy at my cost and click  vacation pictures for them!

But, I am secretly still hoping to find a sure way of getting rid of them. May be next monsoon I’ll be more equipped to fend them off or may be I’ll reconcile to the surprises the nature springs up on me!!

The status as of now is that the Arthropods have WON!!

Busy…Lazy…

Though there are as many things the eye can see or the heart can feel or the hand can touch and the brain can think but it seems ages since I last wrote about anything. Busy I have been since last few months with shifting , packing, reorganising and cribbing…. . But I have been lazy too..

But I hope to bounce back and be more faithful to blogging…

Mirror, mirror on the wall….

Mirror, mirror on the wall,

who is the richest of all?

Oh, it is them,

 who enjoy in their scarcity,

who share in their poverty!

Mirror, mirror on the wall,

who is the happiest of all?

Oh, it is them,

who brave all calamity,

 and laugh in adversity!

Mirror, mirror on the wall,

who is the most content of all?

Oh, it is them,

who work hard with integrity

and believe in almighty!

O! mirror, mirror,

what about me?

 Dear, oh! dear

Don’t you understand,

You are the blessed of them all!

‘coz you have nothing to fear,

or mourn the loss of a dear.

‘coz you are not tied,

with shackles of poverty,

or the blow of adversity!

But mirror, mirror

something’s amiss!

The mirror sighed,

then replied….

Oh, dear,dear..

But that is your doing!

For you yourself string,

a web of worry!

Have a little more faith..

Life would be bliss!!

The Oh-O! Box…

The oh-o! box or the last-minute-dumping box,  is a commonly occurring word in the fauji lingo. It so happens, that most of the times, faujis get the news of being posted out to a new place as a surprise and at a short notice. At such times this box comes into existence.

 Even after packing away the important stuff carefully, some of the related paraphernalia springs up from somewhere. As Mr. Murphy is always active, the surprise item always belongs to the most elaborately planned and packed box. The remote of the TV, shoe shine brushes, clothes hangers, curtain rings, spare stationery, extra locks all get left out during the packing frenzy. So, what does this fauji and his wife do? Oh, they just exclaim “Oh-o! this got left” and then dump all such items in that box and voila! they are packed and ready to leave.

So common are these packing  faux pas that mostly one box is always kept spare. If the posting signal arrives much in advance, let’s say around two months prior to the reporting date, even then this box has to be there. We happen to be so used to this concept that no amount of preparatory time seems enough.

I remember as kids even we used to get posted to different cities within Uttar Pradesh and my parents very elaborately packed away things. I do not remember anything not being in its right place. Basically there wasn’t any such thing as “oh-o box”. 

But, we the people of defense services do not always walk into a readily available house, hence these packers and movers are not much help for us. Moreover those guys pack everything without classifying the items for bedrooms or kitchen or living room etc. and hence the boxes all look like oh-o boxes with little bit of every room in them ! However this classification is very much required for most of us, as we have to sometimes function from a single room and need to open box labeled “kitchen” or “clothes” only.

Even during the availability of such sparse spaces, these oh-o boxes are the ones which need to be opened too. And then it becomes a eureka moment when things start emerging from these boxes. Things which were assumed to have been lost or stolen during packing, suddenly start appearing. A soap case, a soft toy, gas lighter or even a broken candle stand all surface up deriving the expression “Oh-O! here it is!!

All in all, this box is very important for stashing and then rediscovering the precious stuff – it makes life interesting.

And on a serious thought, I realised how our life is one big Oh-o box! We dump all our innocence, selfless love, faith, honesty, truthfulness as we embark on the journey of growing up into a street smart, successful individual but carefully pack the baggage of diplomacy, distrust and cunning to use at the next opportunity. If everyone spares a moment and opens the big oh-o box they will surely find their own good stuff, maybe a little rusted or dusty. But imagine what a pleasurable place this world would be then….

Gallery

All things yellow…

 The golden-yellow morning sunlight slowly crept up the sleeping button roses waking up every bee and butterfly from the previous eve’s inactivity. For me, however it called for a hot cuppa, which I promptly made for myself and sat sipping lazily on the hammock like woven seat in my favorite yellow mug. Curled up thus, in an absolutely blank mind, I was surprised when out of nowhere a thought cropped up: that of the presence and importance of colour YELLOW in human life.

And, come to think of it, I can actually recall more of yellow coloured things than any other colour.

Let’s see…

To begin with, our day begins with that bright warm orb of sun. Then those who believe in God mostly light a lamp or a candle which again has a blessed yellow glow. Most of the fruits turn yellow on ripening, the honey is golden-yellow and the bees are yellow too! The Indian homes mostly have the yellow turmeric which has much importance because of its antiseptic and skin toning qualities and also it is one of the ingredients of food preparation. Jaggery again is a muddy yellow( sometimes brownish too), the egg has yellow yolk too. The leaves wilt and turn yellow and yellow flowers are more common( at least I have come across more of yellow ones ).

And, if you ask a woman about the colour yellow, the most likely answer would be her gold jewellery which brings a golden-yellow glow on her face!

According to colour psychology, the colour yellow can have both positive and negative effects depending on its shade. The positivity of yellow is friendliness, optimism, creativity but the negative emotions it may arouse are fear, anxiety and depression. As per the physics of optics, yellow is the most visible colour because of more reflecting qualities and hence we notice yellow things more. Though Yellow  irritates the eyes most yet it is the most cheery colour of the light spectrum.

Since yellow attracts more attention hence the taxis use yellow number plates, I guess, to attract more customers.

So, people, if you want to use yellow, use sparingly and preferably the lighter shades. We surely do not want to be depressed or irritated Cheery is better!

And, while I was busy writing last few lines of this post, my daughter quickly changed into a yellow t-shirt so that I could include her picture too along with the others that I took. I saw all these flowers at a resort in Nathuwakhan, further up in hills beyond Nainital. I was pleasantly surprised to be able to find all yellow things for the post .