H for Home

HToday I am missing my home because I am far far away and will return to my nest only on Saturday.

As a teenage, I could not imagine myself as a wife and mother. I used to freak out even at the mention of household chores…..the cleaning, cooking, dusting, washing. I was careless, moody and rebellious. And I always chided for being so. The more my mother scolded me, more I rebelled (within certain boundaries) and became aloof to things at home.

But, here I am today married for 15 years and proudly claim that I keep my house in a wonderfully neat, clean and decorated. I am reasonably good cook, faltering only at times when I try out a new recipe. I am not averse to washing either 😉 I feel happy when the food I make delights my husband and daughter, when people compliment about my home, when after all chores are done I still find time for my hobbies of writing and drawing.

The house….doesn’t converse, doesn’t smile, laugh….it is so inanimate, yet we miss it !! Why? Does the house develops a heart tucked away under those bed sheets… in the warmth of the oven….in the chaos of crayons, pencils, erasers scattered on the study table, in the pictures hanging on walls, in the scents of aftershave, baby powders, in the carelessly lying wet slippers, sticky reminder note on the refrigerator……..and other such hundred small things?

The house must be growing ears and eyes too….coz it is reverberates with voices of small quarrels, little fights, sniffles, hugs, laughs, scampering feet, jubilant hurrahs, grumbles, passionate moans and kisses too!!

It must be developing hands and arms too coz it enfolds all into a one unit called family, it closes its doors on evil-eyes and keeps the secrets safely locked in its confines.

Yes, house is inanimate but the home is alive….and that is why we miss it because it is the most large-hearted member of the family which stays at one place waiting patiently for us to return.

This post is for A to Z Challenge.

The Last Day……

It is six in the morning…..a Sunday Morning. I have always lazed on other Sunday mornings but this Sunday morning is totally different. I could not sleep last night….how could I, knowing that the morning will bring along my last day…last to breathe, smell, see, touch and taste?

Today is the last day of my life !! Really? But I have hundred things to do….thousand words to say…. and  zillions of moments to discover!! My two treasured possessions, eleven-year old daughter and an extremely handsome loving husband……Will they miss me? Will they remember me?

Whether they miss me or not, I have loads to do before the day ends….yes, things to do, words to say and moments to live!! I  decide to write them both individual letters.

My most precious and dear daughter,

I love you a lot even though I keep pointing out your mistakes and tell you a long list of do’s and don’ts. But you see that is what mothers are like…. I point out your mistakes so that no body else can point you out as wrong. I tell you what not to do because I have made those mistakes and I want you spared of heartbreak though I know a person can best learn from mistakes. But I can not bring myself up to see you broken and disheartened…..

To be honest today I might be the one to break your little heart…..you see today is my last day and I won’t be there tomorrow to wake you up for school, cook your favorite cake, dress you up in your favorite gown, style your hair or to tuck you in bed with a big noisy kiss. So whether you hate the rules …the do’s and don’ts,  here I am again with some fresh ones….

  • I know you will study hard and become somebody important in society one day but DO NOT forget to enjoy the journey to success.
  • I know you are compassionate and loving but DO NOT try to make each and everyone happy by suffocating your own happiness. DO NOT bend backwards for anyone to achieve something.
  • IGNORE and FORGET those who hurt you…..it may not easy to forgive them but believe me such people are not worth your attention. So forgive too. World is very small….who knows when you might come face to face with those whom you hold grudge against…your anger will only hurt you not them.
  • One day you will grow up and fall in love but DO NOT love to give up….commit and nurture your love yet NEVER let anybody abuse your love, faith, honor and respect.
  • Making love is the most sacred and wonderful emotion…..casual sex is not. DO NOT indulge in wasting away this precious gift.
  • TRAVEL, EXPLORE and widen your horizon. DO NOT let duties bog you down.
  • Gossip is good to hear but dangerous to spread because it muddies the rumor-monger too. Listen and keep it to yourself and BE WARY of the person who spreads it and cautious of whom it is about.

I might not be the best example or the best teacher or the best mother there is…..but there is nobody who will be happier than me to see you succeed in all stages of life. So live, love and be happy always.

Your ever-loving

Mom

My dear loving husband,

Today is my last day…..I have been always honest and direct with you even if at times it has led to a big argument. You have been a wonderful, caring and loving partner to me and a wonderful hands-on father too. You are capable of doing everything even if I am not around yet I have few words for you too…

  • You have to play my part too now…..BE mild and gentle to our daughter. She will be at a stage when she needs a woman’s ear to offload her growing up concerns….. BE that WOMAN for her. DO NOT let her be on mercy of others.
  • Live your life…..

I might not be the best partner and support but my love for you has been true.

Yours ever-loving,

Wife

And I sit and cry again…..till my tears suffocate me and I feel a heaviness on my chest….I am gasping for breath…. Its only six in morning…..Do I have only this much time!!??………Suddenly a little sleepy hand lazily creeps out of sheets and clutches my thumb and another adult palm sleepily caresses my shoulder. I wake up with a start…

It was all a dream!! Oh! Thank God it was just a dream….I start crying and kissing both of my gems…… They wake up….

“Ummmm….Mamma its Sunday…why did you wake me up today?” says my daughter. My husband is more tuned in… he guesses correctly that I must have seen a bad dream. He folds me up in his arms, pats my head as if I am a little girl and lets me cuddle up resting on his chest…..

Sigh!! I have hundred things to do, a zillion moments to live and thousand words to say TODAY…. but this cozy embrace is to die for!

wowbadge

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Gallery

Weekly Photo Challenge: Family

I missed out on the last week photo challenge “Breakfast” though my kitchen was  most active during last few days. Everyday the clank of many pots and pans made the neighbors wonder what we were up to? Pickles and jams of Indian Gooseberry, jaggery filled Indian breads, khus-khus halwa(sweet made from opium seeds…..nothing illegal about it!!), aata-laddoo(wheat flour balls with a hell lot of roasted dry fruits and clarified butter), khandvi, gulab jamuns and lot many things…….all were miraculously appearing from the kitchen. The last fortnight was indeed an overdose of delicacies which normally was made throughout the year to keep us hooked to home cooked food when we were kids. So why squeeze it all in few days? Ah, that is what grandmothers do, I guess, when they come visiting….

Yep, my parents visited us. The love for their granddaughter and inability of their daughter(to make all these traditional dishes) made them to step in the kitchen instead of resting and relaxing!

So what is family?  A place where one is extremely comfortable is home. And the people with whom we can laugh, cry, scream, play, get annoyed, talk, share secrets, tease, hug, have worst hair day and if a stray FART escapes it becomes a matter of roaring laughter instead of embarrassment then that is family!!

I have had hundreds of arguments with my parents since teenage and I still argue on lot of things even today but that doesn’t stop them from loving me unselfishly. Every time they return back to their place after visiting us, there is this emptiness and a nagging feeling of not doing enough for them….

I hope to be of use when their feet are so tired that they need my shoulder to lean on to…. And this feeling is Family!!

And they say a man’s best friend is the dog! My daughter has always been keen to have a younger brother or sister. However, I don’t see that happening for whatever reason God has in store for me. To get over the guilt of not being able to give a sibling to her I got her a pet to play with… And what love do they shower on each other!! She is there to defend him if I happen to scold him and he is there to seek all her attention on her return from school.  He has become an inseparable member of the family. Though I do grumble on finding dog hair sticking to the curtains, bed, clothes and my carpets but nothing can make me to stop loving him because he is Family too!

   

In-laws are family too whether you get along with them or not! Nobody can take place of one’s own parent but spouse’s parents should be given their due place in the family too( you don’t want to get into sticky situation !!). They are there to lend a helping hand if the need ever arises and they love their grandchildren as much too….